I saw your body in a picture, but it didn’t look real
Your essence was gone, my emotions surreal
All I could think, was this is not real
My body numbs, I could hardly feel
I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream
But all I could do was force out a tear
I walked into the church and there you were
All around me I saw your face alive and smiling with grace
Was this a dream, this space I’m in?
No, it can’t be, because I just saw you when?
Oh yeah, just a couple of days ago, laughing, singing, dancing
You were alive— You were safe— You were with family— You were happy
Then the cold realization, this is not a dream
This is your funeral… I was here to say goodbye
I started to cry— WHY, WHY, WHY?
WHY YOU? GOD…WHY? Why Jholie?
The pain, the pain in my chest
I can’t breathe, God why can’t I breathe?
The thought of you dead is intoxicating me
How can this be that you are no longer here?
What happened? Why did you have to go?
Why did God take you from us? Why is this so?
Questions with no answers; will there ever be answers?
Then a tear of loss fell down my face as I look at you in this space
The space where your body sat there in a tiny box, your ashes lay
You… were… really… gone…
So, now it’s time to say goodbye.
To our daughter, our grandchild, our niece, our cousin
Goodbye my Sweet Girl. Goodbye my Love. Goodbye my Angel.